It’s been along time since I’ve written anything. I just feel like I haven’t had much to really document.
I have completed my first year of study. It was incredibly overwhelming at times and I felt my confidence was really tested. I did at times want to end the study because I felt it was too much, especially wrangling my four children. And my ex-husband hasn’t been entirely helpful. However I’ve completed the year, I think I have failed one paper I have really enjoyed working with the children for the year. I think I found a passion that I had no idea existed. On my last day they presented me with a beautiful handmade card, and my mentor teacher presented me with a bottle of wine and some coffee that I absolutely love and I’m known for. I continue to teacher aid for the duration of the year, which has it stresses especially when a child becomes violent with me.
Mid year I experienced quite a low. ￼￼ I made some changes, such as going to the gym, giving up alcohol, and seeing my doctor to discuss increasing my antidepressants very slightly. Listening to my body and looking out for myself has been a real priority for me this year. When I feel myself getting on edge or really struggling, I make sure I heed the signs and make some changes.
￼ we are coming into summer now, and conversely for me my mood tends to slip at this time of year. I feel the pressure of Christmas coming up and the financial stresses that comes with that, I also find there is this superficial need to act happier because the sun is hotter and lasts longer every day. During a particularly hot day I took the kids to the beach at their request. ￼￼ it was something that I was actually looking forward to however, it turned into a really amazing day and I really enjoyed myself.
Steve has been offered a new job with a better package, and he’s naturally over the moon about it. I do find myself resenting how Lucky he is. And how he progresses all the time, where as I tend to stay stagnant. And of course, I’m under constant financial pressure.
People often ask me if I’m dating. That is a big fat NO. I have no interest in dating whatsoever. My priorities are my children, study and work.
The day at the beach! And my beautiful cat, Snow.￼