The YMCA didn’t have any accommodation available for me and put me on the waiting list however they did provide me with a list of other places in the same sort of establishments as themselves. One of them I called and went to view today they are apartments in a slightly different city for me not too far away. Fairly scungey with the typical clientele but again I’m not fussy and I just don’t care any more all I need is a bed that I can stay and sleep in. I literally don’t feel well enough to go househunting to put in application after application with hordes of people being rejected or hoping to be accepted for a good house so I figure this is a good stop in the interim and I will have to look after the children often but I’ll stay at the house while I do that so I haven’t got to take the children to my apartment.
I went on to the hospital after seeing these different places and had my CT scan on my hand so now I just have to wait for the results.
On the way home a trailer caught fire and I was the only person to stop and help even though I’m a female and my hand is in plaster. This is the sort of behaviour that really reinforces my depression because it shows how more self obsessed people are and less caring of other people.
My hand hurts from all the driving today so I stopped and bought myself some wine for dinner tonight not overly healthy but I just don’t care very much anymore.
It seems the trailer is very much a metaphor for myself I am on fire and nobody is stopping to help.