Failed at not making passive aggressive comments. It seems entrenched in me. Definitely something I inherited from my mother. As usual I felt like shit during the meal. Steve made me feel like an idiot, or rather I let Steve make me feel like an idiot. I’d spent the day battling traffic, I don’t feel well, I’m tired, I just wanted to crawl into bed but made a show for my daughter. I made the passive aggressive comments, Steve made the outright comments about not giving a shit about me. Then my 14 year old made the remark that everything I say is pointless. So in all, I should have just rain checked dinner and taken my daughter out for breakfast or something over the weekend. I think this family dinner thing is past it’s use by date – it simply isn’t working. I dread to think what Xmas will be like. Although neither Steve nor I will be willing to relinquish any time with the kids. Anyway luckily there’s some before that.
My counselling session was a bit disappointing. But again, I’m supposed to lead that, so it’s a fail on my part. It ended up just being a superficial chat. I didn’t get anything out of it. I had mentioned the dinner afterwards, so perhaps my counsellor was avoiding anything heavy.
Tomorrow I have my ‘formal support’ where my boss identifies any weaknesses and areas where I need training or support. That should be fun! And as the name suggests, it’s formal so it’s all documented and passed to HR. What a week!