Had my first therapy session today. Jury’s out on whether we’ll gel. But I did open up an awful lot to her today, more than anticipated with a new therapist. It’s like everything I’ve been ruminating over came spilling out. All of my anxiety around the date, the flashbacks, the panic, my ex and how he treated me, the confusing stuff with the cop. I asked her what was normal, I asked for her perspective, I relayed conversations, thoughts and memories as they came racing through. I even spoke a little about my relationship ending with Steve and how that’s impacted me. Once I started, there was no stopping me! It goes to show just how much I’ve had in my head, how much has been bothering me and weighing me down. I did feel calmer when I left. My head felt like it had more room.
I’ve really got a lot in with the kids these holidays. We’ve been constantly either at the beach or at the pools. It’s another sweltering hot day here and I’ve love to be on the beach, but the kids are struggling with the heat, so they’re happy at home. Two of them (the two youngest) start school tomorrow. It’ll be strange after having them around for so long! But it means I can get stuff done without worrying about dragging the kids around. And I’d like to spend as much time as I can at the beach before summer goes.
So, feeling pretty good about today, certainly relieved to have started therapy again. Although for me, it’s usually the night I start to feel it.
And really happy with the way the school holidays have been. I can’t imagine I’d have been capable of this a few months ago.