Trials and tribulations

So the dog trial has ended rather abruptly.  After destroying my house yesterday while I picked up the kids, today I left him him the garden while I dropped the kids off and he smashed a window, trying to get back into the house.  He’s fine, but now I’m facing a glazier bill.  At least my landlord was OK about it.  Definitely should have trusted my gut with this one.  If the owner is stark raving bonkers, chances are, the dog won’t be of sound mind either.  I will try the SPCA next, as hopefully they’ll have a better history.  But one thing is for sure – I’m not rushing!

The kids will be devastated, but not as upset if the dog went for them at some point, and who knows, that could be next, if glass won’t stop him?!

My ex husband has been really annoying.  I wanted to take my 11 year old to the Rag N Bone man concert, but he’s deemed it inappropriate.  Its not at all, we love his music.  I think its a power trip for him.  Like the other day he told me exactly how many nights I had the kids so far because he’s reporting it to the IRD – therefore if I don’t have 50%, I’ll owe money.  But he’s not considered that I have only just moved house and started a new job! So I’m not sure what all this is about.  Maybe to get at me over something?  He’s been saying things to kids about me, even though I’ve not done that, and even defended him when he swore at me over the phone in front of the kids. I’m literally just trash to him and I can’t understand why he hates me so much.  Unless he’s worried that I want to get back with him and he’s trying to set boundaries, like an electric fence.  But I miss companionship, and I miss the old him, but the new him is horrible and I could never love that.  So unless he changes overnight, my feelings are in the past.  I don’t want to meet anyone else though, I need to get myself adjusted into the single life and not relying on anyone.  I have too many issues to work through.

I still have the occasional wobbles.  Like today, I could feel getting up was really hard and  I had to fight the whole time to get ready and get the kids ready. I don’t know why I have this, but I don’t like it.   Each time scares me.  Hopefully when I see my CPN on Friday, my medication can be increased.

Time is racing along and it won’t be long until xmas.  So glad I’m working over xmas, I hate the depression that inevitably sets in when xmas approaches.  Even though its summer here, it makes so difference to my mood.  In fact, a gloomy xmas is preferable because then at least there’s less pressure to do something and act a certain way.

Work tomorrow, which I’m kind of dreading.  Not sure why. My confidence has slipped, but it might do me some good to get back into it again.  Although I’m stressed about paying for parking!

Trials and tribulations, aye?!

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2 thoughts on “Trials and tribulations

  1. This just sounds really hard right now– maybe some growing pains or transition pains? Hopefully as you get more settled with the new house and job things will start to feel less hard. Sending you happy healing thoughts. 💕

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  2. Wow!the dog broke a window? gees. thats insane! He probably would have definitely bitten someone if you kept him. I’m sorry the x is treating you so badly. I think thats just terrible. Sending so many hugs your way, I love the rag n bone man too. xx

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