It’s 5pm and I’ve finally showered and gotten out of bed. The kids have been off school today for a staff training day and I’ve not had the energy or sheer physical capacity to join them. 

Tomorrow I’m moving my stuff from the cottage into storage. It’ll be a monumental job that’s not even been started yet. I can’t even imagine getting through it at the moment. 

I’ll move into a flat next week. Which gets me out of this house, but I’m not looking forward to it. At least I can be hidden away.

I am seeing the benefit office next week too, which puts me where I never saw myself, living off the government. My life has become a series of disappointments and I can’t work out how to change the path I’m on. I’ve tried applying for jobs, I set my heart on a break home, but it seems nothing I do works. 

Maybe I need another medication review?

I’m so afraid of continuing this miserable existence. Of basic showering and hygiene feeling like huge tasks. I don’t even know who I am or what I want anymore. Nothing has a purpose. 

Will this ever change?


2 thoughts on “

  1. Hi Penny, just letting you know that I will be helping out with a Marathon run today and will be at a drink stop on the corner of Lane and Ward street if you want to come and have a chat. I’ll be there from 7:00 to around 10:30 approximately. Have a nice day anyway.


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