Can’t cope

I can’t cope, I can’t cope, I can’t cope.

I now have 2 interviews this week, one I need to take the kids with me for. I have an appointment at the benefits office and then court on Friday. All this while juggling the 4 kids. I just spent the weekend in bed, how am I supposed to become a functioning adult from that?

I have only heard from one moving company today and they’re booked up until June 7, I can’t possibly justify rent on the cottage and rent on a flat at the same time, but I can’t keep living here with S. My funds aren’t much, so some how I need to get everything into storage and out of here.

As for court, it’s pressing on my mind like a horrible vice, and keeping me short of air. What’s the point of job interviews if I get a conviction. In the middle of all this, I wonder how I can justify a trip back to the UK with all this mess. Although I won’t deny it’s tempting to run away.

I feel like life just got a whole lot more trickier and I need to fulfil more roles, complete more tasks when I’m barely able to function.

I’m completely alone, no one is going to tell me it’s going to be ok. No one in their right mind would look at this mess and say I’ll cruise through this.

I’m worried about my brain in interviews, I’m already slow in my thinking. This could be very embarrassing. And my work history is VERY historical so what examples can I draw on? I’m bound to crash and burn as I do at everything.

I just want to hide in bed. It’s what I do best.

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