Today I haven’t felt like doing anything at all. I sat in the lounge and read for a bit until I dozed off. I was absolutely shattered and I went into my bedroom where I continued to sleep. Perhaps I have been trying to do more then I’m ready to do in an attempt to get better as soon as possible. I do feel better for my sleep, but frustratingly I still feel tired, but I’m suffering with insomnia again. I did manage to do laundry so I’ve got clean clothes and even clean sheets on my bed which is really lovely.

I don’t know what all of this means for me. My ex’s mother is still at the house so I haven’t been able to visit the kids yet, I really hope I can see them tomorrow because I miss them dreadfully.

Everyone has battened down the hatches in preparation for the Cyclone moving through New Zealand. Frankly it’s all seems overly dramatic, there are far worse storms in other countries.

I felt very tired, very restless, very disappointed that I feel like this. Again I’m left wondering if the low will never pass. At least I didn’t push myself to go to the day program again. I obviously really needed the break. So I guess it’s about trying to find a good pace. Not too much, not too little. Trial and error. Perhaps if I stop trying to work to timelines that might help. I think ‘I’m in respite until Tuesday- must be better by then’ etc.


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