Day programme 

Today has been a little busier for me. I visited a day program that’s just started. My caseworker drove me there, I had some pretty preconceived ideas of what to expect. Images of one flew over the cuckoos nest, chessboards missing pieces, chequers missing pieces! But instead I found it was a really lovely place with brand-new furniture, state of the art technology, and yet a very soothing environment to create an ambience of a retreat. After some discussion with the leader I decided to give it a go, so as from tomorrow I will spend some of my days doing the day program. There are classes on offer such as; yoga, art, cooking. I may or may not partake in some of those classes.

What I hope to gain from attending the day classes are; confidence, motivation, social interaction with my peers, some routine, and something different from staying in my room and reading.

I have also undergone a radical medication change as the status quo wasn’t working. Naturally I’m anxious about these new changes, but as I initiated them and did the research I’m quietly confident that this may be one of the keys to getting better.

After visiting the day program, which I have to say left me feeling incredibly exhausted, I was able to think and process and ask questions but it seemed to take everything out of me. Later I had a doctor’s appointment about these migraines, but she wouldn’t prescribe anything because of my psychiatric medicine. She needs to consult with a psychiatrist first which is a little disappointing. But I’m hopeful that my migraines will dissipate as I’m no longer taking the olanzapine.

I’m glad I’m in respite to have my pills dished at the right times. At the moment there seems a lot to remember and I just don’t have the capacity for that at the moment.

My daughter Jess won an award today that I know she’s worked very hard for. So I asked S if we could go together and buy something special for her as a reward and not only that but I miss her so much. I ended up buying a heart necklace for her, I hope she feels close to me when she wears it. Naturally The others wouldn’t go without so I got them a little something each including a toy dinosaur for my boy. I wish I could see their faces. So I’m waiting for S to send me some photos. I really miss my children.

I’m determined to get through this horrible low so I can be a better, stronger version for my kids.


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