You know life.
A weird kaleidoscope of images and feelings. Some profound they can bring you to your knees in a supermarket. They can make you smile, the brightest biggest smile when you’re alone.
My son has been that missing piece for me, the unconditional love, the spontaneous phrases. He has been a masterpiece of all the good in life.
But the bad images come. The jaggered parts leave cuts on your soul, the bleeding is invisible but it pours. The mai is intolerable but often we hide it.
Why must the pain be so tense and so consistent? Why can’t I be normal. Why can’t I love my son with all am not worry about him to a degree a ‘normal mother would.
I’ve failed. I’ve fallen. I can’t get up, son, please be the man I’ve always dreamt you’ll be. You are my hopes, my fears, my dreams.
My daughters, so beautiful and unique. Be good humans, learn, speak up for yourself. I love you all so deeply.
My ex hates me with such strong convictions. He doesn’t own me anything – but to put those children first always. To give them all the love I want to.
I’m broken, too scared, to uncared for by people that should have looked out for me. I seek my own peace.
I love you my beautiful children – never forget that xxx