Regrets – poem

Regrets. The biggest baggage of all,Painful, cannot change, I’m left the eternal fool.

I have caused pain and turmoil to the ones I love and adore,

I have created feelings of loneliness and made them feel like they need to do more.

But the duty was on me to undo the mistakes,

To listen, to learn, to stop being so selfish for goodness sakes.

I have lamented about pain that’s been caused to me,

The lack of support, the betrayal and scorn.

But I have done exactly the same to innocent souls, 

Broken them, pushed them, raked them over the coals.

Sorry seems inadequate, too little to late,

I created hurt and suffering from misdirected hate.

Now I am alone and suffering in great pain,

Knowing I caused similar will be my daily rain.
I wish with all my heart I could take it all away,

To have my chance again, any sacrifice or price I’d would pay.

I want to admit that I’ve done so much wrong, 

It’s not been a one off, it’s gone on so long.
I have been hurt terribly in the past,

But I was given a gift that I believed would last.
I ruined that gift, that chance of life,

I crushed it, and broke it – caused immeasurable strife.
To know I caused hurt like I feel everyday 

Is an eternal hell, and a huge price I’ll pay.
Just know that I’m sorry and I live with regret,

My angel is gone and I’m left to grieve with huge debt.
Thank you for being my rock, my guiding light,

My saviour, my safety, my shiny white knight.
Thank you for loving me, your strength and your belief

Thank you for being you, for giving me comfort and relief.
In you I found something I never thought possible,

Happiness, peace, wholeness for which you were responsible 
My love, my soul mate, my confidante, my best friend.

We have finally met a devastating end.
I will love you forever and cherish your kindness

I hate that I’ve seen the truth too late after years of blindness.
Be happy you’re finally free

Of a selfish, bitter bitch, like me.

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