Poem

I am perfect imperfect

Dimples, flaws and more

Guilty of self pity, self loathing and shame

Using my past against others, trying to share the blame.

But within me lies a survivor, strong and never ending,

Trying to understand the difference between quitting all and bending.

I can appreciate my present, though I have laden my past bare

It feels as though I’ve stagnated, but really I’m nearly there

I accept my selfish tendencies, my anger and my hurt,

I accept that no one can change things, but flowers grow from within the dirt.

The anger and bitterness left me cold

But in truth that just becomes old.

I must seek peace from within myself

And handle the cards I was dealt.

I have cast my pain on others, my need to wallow in my pain,

But this has left me shallow and feeling my own disdain.

New life is not given without love,

It deserves respect and validation, perhaps a gift from up above.

I must seek joy and happiness from within 

My heart should flourish, grow – in the present I must live in.

I have caused untold pain to my deepest love 

And made loving me so hard, it’s made him brutal and tough

I regret my decisions, my demeanour

I regret my attitude and song of an obnoxious diva.

My scars are real, so painful,

But with constant grief it becomes banal.

I must mature like the wisest widower

Not become selfish and a wallower.

I need to learn from my mistakes

I need to acknowledge mine and others aches.

I must realise that yesterday is past

I must make my relationships last.

I need to work hard to change and improve 

To accept, to grow that I cannot lose.

I’m sorry for all the bitterness that consumed me

I need to honour and trust and person that I can be.

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