Lazy days

Today I’m lounging by the pool. I feel relaxed, at peace. 

Although my left arm is still quite weak, I thought pushing up against the jet spas might help, but it’s led to further pain. I’m not concerned about this, I’ll be home at the weekend and I can get it checked out in NZ.

I miss my friends and the life I’d forged in Kratie but I’m still in touch with them and have the fondest memories.

I just went across the road to the Mart and saw my favourite little baby, which the staff know I adore 

  
And then I heard my name called and saw my favourite tuk tuk driver that has given me tours and help me immensely 

  
San Tuk Tuk (highly recommend if you’re in Phonm Penh).

It was great to see him and we discussed his holiday plans and if there’s anything I should see before I go. He had an idea for a place that’s apparently in a mountain area, where you can sit in a hut and be around nature – I can’t remember the name of the place, but he said I would find peace and enjoy it there. I trust him of course.

My thoughts always go back to my family. My appreciation of my husband who has done a remarkable job with the kids and house. Despite working so hard. I’m finally heading home next weekend and it feels hard to believe.

Currently I’m enjoying the peace and tranquility in my hotel. Last night I had the best night’s sleep, I awoke at 7, ready for breakfast and then spent the day by the pool. 

I have thought a lot about my marriage, about my negative contributions and how I have over time become so jaded and bitter. So caught up in the bad and essentially feeling sorry for myself and taking it out on everyone.

Cambodia is an inspiring country. The people are calm and content. Built up by its own willingness and enthusiasm by the people after the horrific ruling of the Khmer Rouge. Not really that long ago. The communities are strong, people maintain religious and moral beliefs and they look forward at the future with hope and tenacity.

I love how even in the chaos, there is calm and it works!

I have been privy to things that very little see. I have absorbed and filled with soul with refreshed hope for my own future.

Today it’s been a mixture of warm sun and showers. I have sat through it all. Enjoying the warmth on my face, or listening to the rain hitting the pool. The ripples in the water – a metaphor for my own life.

Yes, I will certainly miss this country and its people.

But I have my people. My people, my family. That I long to love and support.

I have been blessed in many ways. 

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