I cannot believe I wrote an entire entry and the bloody thing was lost at posting! Unbelievable! And there was no draft. And my husband has told me constantly to write my blogs in Word first in case that happens but I’ve stubbornly kept doing things my way. Grrrrr!
Anyway, the blog was as the title suggested about my bad night. I wasn’t going to write another entry to replace it. Defeated that all my hard work was lost. But my husband is singing 60s music (his preference) at the top of his lungs downstairs – mostly Beatles, and I must be the only person on the planet that cannot stand the Beatles. In fact I don’t really like any oldies music. And I really can’t stand my husband singing. He thinks he’s Sinatra but it makes me want to put my head through a glass window. So as I’ve scurried off to the bedroom, this bloody storm still rages and I’m thinking about what another awful night it’s going to be.
Last night I awoke often, disorientated, convinced someone was coming upstairs but it was just the wind making the door rattle. I feel alone at night, vulnerable, small, afraid and I hate this weaker self. The shadows dance cruel twists and turns around me, the wind plays a chilling melody of memories.
I’m a young girl again. I don’t know where I am. There is no one here to help me.
I made a mistake sharing my story with someone. You should never trust anyone, especially those that are too close to the devil. You relinquish your power. I never learn.
The wind howls it’s melody at me again tonight. No, my sleep will be listless tonight. The girl in me is afraid.